we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
