Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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