I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
