I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
