So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize