i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
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I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
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We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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