Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
