u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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