Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Actions speak louder than pants.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
