you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
