the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
