Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
