don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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