i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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