I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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