I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
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we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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