A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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