thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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