dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize