wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
