You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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