The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think weed is turning my hair brown
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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