i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
