I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
