sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just fell off a train. Bad.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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