walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
