he thought i was a dude.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
