If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
