I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
