Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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