ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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