I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
