I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
