thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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