hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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