i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im holly from the hills drunk
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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