Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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