dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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