Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The Olympian is in my bed
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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