I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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