My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
