Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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