His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
