his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Do you have feelings for this penis?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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