Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize