Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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