I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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