He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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