I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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