For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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