Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Quick, to the slutcave!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Randomize
