STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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