White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize