I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My bed smells like the plague
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
