I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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