oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
