I think my vagina is haunted
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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