i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
