Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
