Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
