Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
