@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
