The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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